Ms. Kaboom tear down that wall…

Today I sat my desk near tears… I don’t know why, but it was an extension of the night before…again I don’t know why. Sometimes things just pile up and pile up and you just reach your breaking point.

I was emailing my friend Lauren at work because… thats what we do. And Lauren brought up a great point about how bloggers never really blog about the shitty things going on in their lives. They mostly talk about stuff that makes them look cool and interesting. Yes of course there are exceptions to this, but more often then not people only show you what they want you to see. Which brings us to this blog. I do not consider myself to be some great blogger. I do not have thousands of readers, but as with all my blogs I’m hoping that my openness and honesty will at the very least inspire other people to do the same.

Basically what I want to say in the blog is this: Everyday of life is a battle between you and the world. Some days you win and some days the world wins, but just because the world wins a few battles doesn’t mean it has won the war.

But what does this mean? It means sometimes you have to brave and power through the hard stuff and get shit done…and sometimes you have to retreat. Sometimes you have to take out the white flag and wave it around.

This may sound cliche, but sometimes a good cry really does the trick. Ok I know that sounds like a terribly un-feminist thing to say, but think of it as a emotional cleansing, a purging if you will. Sometimes you have to tear down your walls in order to rebuild yourself. ( I know I just switched metaphors but it’s true.)

We weren’t meant to be strong all the time. And weren’t meant to be happy all the time. Most days when I’m stressed out I tell myself things will get better. That the bad wont last forever. On most days I manage to make myself believe it. On other days, like today, I rely on others to convince me and I make every effort to believe them. Until finally, I do.

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9 thoughts on “Ms. Kaboom tear down that wall…

  1. I don’t think it’s “unfeminist” to cry. I think more people should, it cleanses you and doesn’t give you that immense headache that trying not to cry does. I’ve seen men cry. But I also think it’s part of that “survival of the fittest” thing to bottle up your emotions and pretend to be strong. We all want to appear like we have it together. This is why so many people are on antidepressants. But pills are temporary solutions and, I guess, so is crying. Maybe we’d all feel a little stronger if we admitted to ourselves and each other that sometimes we feel a little broken.

  2. I agree…. and I don’t think it’s un-feminist to cry either, but society, like you said, has made us ashamed of our own feelings and made us feel like in order to be treated like men we had to be emotionally void… I think guys have it worse.

  3. About every three months or so (give or take) I hit a huge wall because I’ve bottled up all that stress and emotion. After I realize what the shizz is going on, I generally put in a movie that I know will make me cry (and, no, not Beaches) and feel about 30 times better afterward. Emotional cleansing is a very necessary element to keeping your life in balance I think. I wish I would recognize it a bit more often and put in those movies a little quicker. I think because of the societal need to be ‘strong’ or ‘cool’ I don’t. Maybe if I did it more often, my shoulders wouldn’t be the mess of knots they generally are. 🙂

  4. I know it’s usually when I start to cry that I realize I’ve been depressed for a few days. But I’m the exact same way Kacey. I go months being fine and then boom…at least we know its normal.

  5. Oh, you are just going to LOVE my depressing, tearfully-written post then at the end of this week. I keep changing the scheduling date of it because I wonder if it makes me TOO human. I certainly don’t want a pity party, that’s for sure.

    I kind of like that blogging makes my life appear awesome-r than it is sometimes. *sigh* But, yeah… my breakdowns are about every six weeks now. It’s like someone took away all my testosterone and filled me up with only female hormones.

    • Yeah I think everyone wants their life to appear awesome-r that it is…Hell I know I do! But I think what happens to people who read the blogs is that they start to think “wow that person has a perfect life.” and then they start to feel like something is wrong with them because their life isn’t picture perfect… but just like a picture it only tell part of the story. I’m saying everyone needs to jump on their blogs and air their dirty laundry, but I think it’s nice to know that the person on the other side of the computer screen is human too and has same worries and emotions as me. 🙂

      I know all about feeling like you’re only filled with female hormones every couple months or so! Looks like we aren’t the only ones though 🙂

      I look forward to your post… I promise not to feel sorry for you 🙂

  6. Pingback: A rant from a hormonal lady who needs to get laid. | Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

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