Idle Worship

A couple days ago I was remembering a blog I wrote earlier in the year. The blog discussed the 8 people I was looking up to in 2010. The reason I was thinking about this blog is because in a matter of months two of the people on the list have sort or…fallen off the list. This of course made me a little sad and harkened me back to a time where my heart had been broken before by one of my idols….

When I was in college I was a huge Ani Difranco fan. So I was really excited when she came to Athens for a show. Lady Linzi came from Columbus to go with me. That day everyone was telling stories about how she came into town and was really nice and chill. I was so jealous that they had gotten a chance to meet her and I didn’t, so I was determined to stay after the show to say hi as she boarded our bus. We went to the show. It was awesome. We got rained on and decided to head back to my dorm to change and then go back and meet Ani Difranco. A small group of ten of us stood out in the misty evening weather and we waited….and waited… and waited… her tour manager came out and said that we should go because she wasn’t going to come out to talk with us. Most of stayed just so we could get a wave and to take a picture… so we waited…and waited… and waited and finally she came out.

And proceed to get on the bus with out even looking up and giving us a wave. Even though I’m way over it now, at the time it really turned me off to everything about her. I didn’t listen to her music. When I heard her name I rolled my eyes. I was pissed because here this indie rockstar now just seemed no better then the rest.

You’d think I would have learned my lesson by now… seeing as I am almost the big 3-0-(eek!) but I still look up to people and get bitterly disappointed when they prove to be oh so human.

That is until now.

At first I’ll admit I was kind of annoyed and a little heart broken when I realized my idol worship turned to idle worship with two people on my 2010 list, but now I kind of feel liberated and empowered. If my heroes can do amazing and inspiring things and still make mistakes and be utterly ridiculous at times, then that means they are playing with the same deck of cards that I am playing with….and so I have faith that, even with all of my flaws I can achieve something inspirational.

If you think about it, it makes total sense not to immediately turn your back on your heroes completely just because the let you down every once in a while. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that my parents were not perfect. But of course I still love them regardless of that. And of course I still want my parents to be proud of me, but knowing that they make mistakes too, certainly helps to take the pressure off.

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